August 20th, 2009


(no subject)

the "flood" took out our washer and dryer (amoungst other things)

i can deal with not having a dryer, esspecially mid summer. i hang clothes mostly anyways.
brians been washing diapers by hand. what a champ. he keeps saying hell "do laundry" (referring to our clothes), but it hasnt happened, and im not even mad.

id do it. i keep meaning to actually. but i guess i get hung up on the "why the eff dont we have a washer? because our landlord never got some sewage backup valve? thats crap. i want a flipping washer" and just "recon" shirts i never wear. etc. etc.
so more often than not, i probably look like hell. which is great. ive felt like hell lately as well. since the a/c went with the "flood" as well, and just got replaced today. my house has averaged high 80s, and humid for weeks now. a shower and new clothes can only make me feel good for about an hour.

so, the a/c's fixed.
im about to go make the tub my temporary home.
yet all my favorite clothes are far past expired.

its amazing how everything is linked. if i feel "yucky", i allow myself to look yucky, or... at least feel like i look yucky. which causes me to think i am yucky. or at least that other people notice/are concerned about my yuckiness.

ive done 4 shoots in the last 3 days, and at every one, ive wanted to be like "sorry i look and possibly smell like shit. we havnt had a washer or a/c for 3 weeks. so i may as well be a squater of sorts."

in any case. well finally have a little money tomorrow (i almost said extra. ha!! is there such a thing as "extra" money?) so maybe ill insist on a new outfit, for the sake of lifting my dirty spirits.