rojomiamor (rojomiamor) wrote,

My uncle

I'm being sort of preemptive here. My uncles on life support. Or close enough. Tomorrrow that will end.
The odds are pretty good everyone will say goodbye then. I'm guessing he's already said his goodbyes. In essence.

death is always hard. At least for the average European American. I think. It's how were raised. I want to celebrate death. Or. The life that was. I want to be happy about knowing my loved ones are going on to enjoy the afterlife. Or be reincarnated as an eagle. Whatever. But, I still find myself getting choked up.

I can count the number of men who had a lasting. Positive impact. On me. On one hand. One finger would be reserved for lee smit sr.

I remember the lightning bugs landing on his nose as he smoked his cigarette. Outside of course.
His warm hearty chuckle.
He always went to the same gas station. Even if it was only for coffee. I think I called it the cub stop (which I believe was derived from curb)

I lived with my aunt and uncle for half of my second grade school year. This was the first time I was separated from my mom after learning of her condition. She went to rehab. I went to Athens.
While this was only the beginning of me bouncing around, their home was the most stable and "normal" id ever live in.
There was a mother. And a father. And a son. And a daughter. All of them would treat me with love and respect.

My cousins (their children) were of college age. So I got treated as an only child in a lot of ways. I was used to being an only child, but not like this. I got more attention in those 5 or so months than I did in 2+ years any other time.

I've grown. Gotten busy. I don't keep up with family like I wish I did. But I don't forget them either.

Getting olders hard. Saying goodbye to those you love is hard. Not seeing them to say goodbye is hard too.

I hope he finds peace. I hope my aunt and his children don't hurt too much. I hope my children are impacted by someone as great as he.

Its strange to imagine never seeing him again. My great grandmothers still kicking. I guess he's had heart problems, but I had no idea they were this severe. I'm not sure if anyone did.

I'll miss him.

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